Friends and Family we are so thankful for all of your prayers. I just want you to know that you have been blessed this week because of your faith and prayers which have brought you closer to God.
Eric and I recieved some devastating news on the brain MRI report. We found out that Paul has severe brain damage and is unable to move or speak, let alone be coherent. Eric asked the doctor if this is similar to a coma and they told us it is much worse because people come out of comas. But this is permanent he will never come out of this. We didn't want to believe the news, because he has been improving.
Unfortunately, they were automatic responses rather than coherent responses. So Eric and I have the ethical and moral dilemma that no parent should ever have to make. At first we thought it wasn't fair, but the more we pondered and prayed about Paul's situation the more we realized this has been a major blessing, not only in our lives but in all of yours. We don't want to be selfish and continue to hold onto him because of our need for him in our lives. We want him to have the best quality of life and we know that he will have that up in Heaven while he is with his Heavenly Father.
We have heard from many of you that your children have been taught how to pray for others and that is a priceless lesson for them to learn. We have learned of people who have drawn closer to God after having been away for sometime and we feel that this is part of Paul's calling in this life. The other part of Paul's calling is to bring us closer together as a family which has been an overwhelming experience. Eric and I want to be better people because of this experience. Paul has taught us how to forgive others, he was poked and prodded for different reasons and easily forgave the hospital workers for doing it.
The good news is that we got to hold him, finally! It felt so good to hold Paul in our arms. So we're going to take him off of his respirator to hug him, snuggle him, and enjoy our time with him as much as we can, and take him to see the sun while we still can, and teach him everything a parent should teach their child, or was it he who taught us? I can't wait for the day when we can see him again and hold him in our arms, because families can be together forever. We testify that we will be with our son Paul again as he waits for us on the other side.
We love each and everyone of you. Thank you for your sacrifices, your thoughtful and kind words, and your faith that has just so happened to have been increased for the very hour that you will need it.
Love,
Tagen, Eric and Paul the fighter
P.S. Speaking of Paul the fighter, we wanted to point out that he has fought for everything that is good to take precedence in your life. Priorities are rearranged when looking at the eternal perspective.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTagen - I remember when I was feeling so sad over loosing my mother. We talked about her and how hard it was that she wasn't "here" with us. The day after we talked about it, you came to me and said, "you'll see her again". It was so comforting and I hope that knowledge is comforting to you now. I'd like to think that my mother will be watching over him for you and Eric. Our thoughts are with you, Eric, Paul, and your family .
ReplyDelete-Adrienne, Jason and Sawyer
Want you to know that you are thought of, and are being prayed for! Isn't it a wonderful thing to KNOW that you will see your little boy again, and KNOW that you will still be able to raise him?! We are so blessed with the knowledge of the Gospel and the eternal blessings that are ours! I pray that you may feel the arms of our Heavenly Father around you during this difficult time!
ReplyDeleteThougtfully,
Kenneth Hoover
Eric & Tagen,
ReplyDeleteMay Heavenly Father continue to Hold your entire Family in his loving arms at this time. There is peace to know the sweet mercys of the Gospel of Jesus Christ allow Paul to be yours for Time and all Eternity. What a choice spirit he must be to have been blessed your life for the time that he has been with you. And will continue to bless your life for the Eternities. Cherish the knowledge that you hold dear to your heart and soul. It shall bring you peace beyond measure. Jesus Christ will lift and carry you at this time for as long as you need it. He loves you that much and more. So do I. May God continue to Bless you to have your spiritual and temporal needs met.
Love,
Steven Wilson
I wish I could just hug you guys right now. I am so grateful for that peace we have because of the Gospel. The experiences we have in this life don't make sense when taken out of context, away from the eternal. It is hard to remember that all the time. But with the Spirit, with the Gospel, we know so much more, and even that knowledge is still limited by our mortal limitations. No one can really say why things happen.
ReplyDeleteYou two are seriously two of the most amazing people I have ever met. I am grateful for what I have learned from Paul. And I still want to hug both of you.
We love you,
Sarah & JD Chilton
I am so sorry! What a hard decision to make. I am amazed by your faith. It is so comforting to know what we know with the gospel. We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteDear Tagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteJust want you to know how sorry I am to hear about Paul. You three have been in my thoughts and prayers pretty constantly for days. I will continue to hold you guys in my prayers. It's my hope that you will continue to feel God's comforting presence in these difficult days and beyond. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.
Much love and many prayers,
Kerri Shannon
Tagen,
ReplyDeleteI was so saddened to hear about your sweet baby. I've been praying for your little family since I found out. The Gospel is amazing and your testimony of the Gospel amazes me. I'll continue to pray for your family.
Love, Danielle
Again, we just wanted to tell you how deeply sorry we are for your situation. No parent should have to go through any of what you've been through. You guys are truly amazing. Love, Mike Payne and family
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that the 2 of you had to make such a hard decision. No parent should have to make that decision. I can't imagine the devastation you both must feel. Our family will continue to prayer for you. May you find peace. Your in our hearts. Jody, Gery, Stephanie, Cody, Kaitlyn
ReplyDeleteWe love and support you guys so much! Thank you for sharing your son Paul with us! You have all taught us so much about faith, hope, and love! Families can be together forever! May the Lord's blessings be with you!
ReplyDeleteLove, Chad, Heather, Hallie and Gavin
Eric and Tagen,
ReplyDeleteWe were so sad to hear of the news. You are such an amazing couple. What a beautiful baby boy you have. We are so grateful that you have such a grasp on the true eternal perspective. To know that you will be with your Paul again brings great comfort in such a difficult time. We know rich blessing are in store for your family. Because great blessings always follow great trials. Especially when you endure them the way Christ would, and you truly have. Thank you for sharing your experience with us and others. It has truly brought us closer to our Heavenly Father. We love you both and you are always in our prayers.
Love
Mike & Elise
We love you guys so much, you two are truly an amazing couple. Your strength, courage, and devoted love for one another is truly a lesson for all to see. Thank You so much for sharing Baby Paul with us, he has such a Special Glow about him. I hope you take comfort in knowing, that glow will always be with you! Our prayers are with you always, Love - Jeremy, Brooke, Bailey, Ryder, & JD Peckham
ReplyDeleteI have been following your story for some time, and am deeply sorry for what you are going through. No parent should ever have to deal with this. We almost lost our little daughter 3 years ago, but her life was saved by an organ donor. As we were going through that situation of seeing her pass away we began to comprehend what a horrible thing it is to lose a child. Our prayers are with you at this time. I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeletePaul has taught me to enjoy my boys more. I can get so frustrated with them through out the day and feel so overwhelmed. I even find myself complaining that I don't have more time to myself, but like you said the eternal perspective gives you a wake up call as to what your priorities should be. I hope from learning this lesson I can be more patient and more kind to my children and to all in general. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have been right there with you guys experiencing this.....I have cheered and cried as I have read you experience. I just wanted to thank you for sharing it with us...I am a changed person for the better and I wanted to thank you. I knew when I first met Tagen in SL at during a fire drill at church she was special and I wanted to be her friend. As I watched her go through this experience, I am reminded again how special and amazing you truly are. Paul is angelic just like his parents. I hope in the coming days, you will feel the love of our Savior more than ever before. I Love you guys, MIssy
ReplyDeleteEric and Tagen,
ReplyDeleteThere are so many tears for you right now. What a blessing for you to meet, love, and hold your precious little Paul. As much as we are able to imagine what's it's like to love and loose a child, we can't possibly understand your pain. We can't even find the words to describe how heartbroken we are for you both. Our heartfelt prayers will continue for all of you. We hope you take comfort in the fact that he will be happy, whole, and healthy in heaven, without pain, or the slightest discomfort. It will be an amazing day when you are all reunited as a family.
Thank you for sharing your precious baby Paul with us.
Much love, Joe, Amanda, Joey, Reagenne, and Scarlett
You guys have uplifted me so much. I'm so sorry! Paul was too good for this world. We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteJoe & Sarah
Tagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteMichael and I are heartbroken for you. We know how hard it is to make a choice to either put off, prolong or choose the inevitable. What a blessing and example both of you and sweet Paul are to the rest of us. We know how your hearts must be hurting and you have a difficult time ahead, but I am strengthened by your faith and by your belief in the eternal perspective. May Heavenly Father wrap you in His arms and hold you as you go through this time together. All our love. Michael and Emily Burrell
We love you and are grateful for the opportunity you have given us to pray on your families behalf.
ReplyDeleteI love my son so much. I cannot think how hard it is for you to let your son go. How truly merciful it is that Heavely Father has given us the blessing of Eternal families. I couldn't help but think of the following scripture.
"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; and thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." D & C 121:7-8
May you be blessed with the comfort and support that you need at this time.
Love,
Spencer, Natasha & Stetson Wade
I know that little Paul will be welcomed with open arms by his Grandpa Paul and others. I have a little saying by James E. Faust that has always comforted me through hard times in my life. "No grief is so great, no pain is so profound, no burden is so unbearable that it is beyond the Lord's healing touch" You all are continually in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry!! I can't imagine what you have gone and are going to go through... please know there are lots of people praying and hoping for comfort to you and your family!!
ReplyDeleteTagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite poems that I think of when I think of my precious girls. Paul is still a part of this world and he still has so much ahead of him. He will always love you for your sacrifice that you and Eric have made so that he could continue on with Gods work.
God bless you and your family,
Leslie (Child) Hunter
You are the sweetest gift, my little pearl. You are a bright young thing and the whole world is in front of you. Take things as they come and you will weather well. Go everywhere. Be brave and strong and free. Keep your eyes and ears and heart wide open. Look for goodness all around you.
And when you feel small in the great big world, be still. Think of your beautiful roots. They are deep and true and will allow you to stretch far. So go into the world and let your little light shine.
And always remember you are loved and blessed and the littlest one that ever stole my heart.
-Rebecca Puig
Tagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteWhat a special boy you have been blessed to have! You are such amazing people! You are constantly in our prayers and thoughts! We love you and your wonderful family!
oh tagen, our hearts and thoughts and prayers are with you and eric and paul. and all your family. we love you and send all our love.
ReplyDeleteI have been asked by several people if there is some where that donations can be sent? Please post us an address where cards and donations can be sent to. We would love to help any way we can.
ReplyDelete~Thank You
I found your blog through a friend, and in a matter of minutes you have changed my life! You both sound so strong and have such a conviction! Thank you for reminding me how fragile each day is, and giving me a new perspective. We may never meet, but I will think of you often, and pray for you as you go through this next little while. That little boy is so lucky to have you as his parents!
ReplyDeleteI cannot begin to comprehend what you two are going through right now. You are amazingly strong, and you have an equally amazing little boy! Paul is so blessed to have you as parents.
ReplyDeleteWhen I heard the news, my mind flashed back to a talk that I read in church this past Sunday. I read the whole talk again today and it has been a comfort to me. In it, Elder Uchtdorf said,
"Wherever you live on this earth and whatever your life’s situation may be, I testify to you that the gospel of Jesus Christ has the divine power to lift you to great heights from what appears at times to be an unbearable burden or weakness. The Lord knows your circumstances and your challenges. He said to Paul and to all of us, “My grace is sufficient for thee.” And like Paul we can answer: “My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9)."
dear tagen and eric, we love you and are very sorry for your loss. baby paul will be in a better place to watch over us all. I know he has already had a profound effect on my life in the short time he had here on earth. love, francis, mya and keira
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the dramatic range of feelings you two have been going through these last couple of weeks. And I can't imagine how hard a decision like that must be. As hard as it is, I'm glad that you have found peace in your decision.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mom lost our little brother during her 7th month of pregnancy, she tried to explain to me (8) and my brother (4) why he had to die. I remember her saying that his spirit was so valiant that he only needed his body for a short time. What a valiant little spirit you two have, and how he's touched so many lives during his short mission on earth. Like a lot of people have already said, you're lucky to have the comfort and peace of the Gospel in your life. We'll be thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.
Love,
Steve & Natalie Perry
Angels are forever
ReplyDeleteWe were chosen to become the family of a very special child.
Who would come to earth from Heaven and visit for a while.
There are mothers who give birth to babies, too good for this world of men.
They touch our lives for a moment, then travel Home again.
This was to become our destiny. And, Why? We need not know.
For a parents greatest gift is to nurture and love a child with a perfect soul.
Our baby was born an Angel and stopped to pause this way,
Blessing us with sunshine, as we thanked the Lord each day.
Our child was like a ray of perfection and could not journey long,
The source of power being God Himself, quietly called our Angel Home.
As we walk in Springtime meadows, with nature posing all around,
We see the beauty of our little one in every sight and sound.
Whenever I gaze at this beautiful world, or look at a blue sky above,
I know that Angels are Forever
Warming our hearts with their light and love.
Author unknown
Eric and Tagen so sorry for your loss. Our prayer's are with you thanks for sharing beautiful Paul with us for his short stay on earth we love you.
Roy,Jackie,Kariss,Trevan Atkinson
We have been praying for your family, even though you don't know us. I am Tina's sister. My husband is working in an infant ICU right now, and often works with parents trying to make that decision. It is so personal and each patient is unique. I know it's hard on him, I can only imagine what it took for you to make that decision. I am sorry for your loss. I am grateful for the knowledge that Paul will soon be with Our Heavenly Father, and you will see him again.
ReplyDeleteEric and Tagen - What a selfless decision. My heart aches for you guys. Well, I wanted to share this website with you guys (http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org), but I was praying for the best and now it may be a little late. Thank you for sharing lil Paul with us. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I have been thinking about you guys often. I can't imagine making that decision but I'm glad you feel peace in it. Thank goodness for the knowledge we have that our families are forever and your little son is with our Heavenly Father.
ReplyDeleteI am sure that Paul will be your guardian angel-no doubt, a mighty warrior! May the Lord hold you in His arms until you can hold Paul in your arms again. This song has been running through my mind all day. Thank goodness for the Gospel and the Savior's love and Atonement. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.-Mindy
ReplyDeleteI stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died
Chorus:
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me enough to die for me
Oh, it is wonderful
Wonderful to me
I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine
That he should extend his great love unto such as I
Sufficient to own, to redeem and to justify
(Repeat chorus)
I think of his hands, pierced and bleeding to pay my debt
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet
I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Secure in the promise of life in his victory
Thus ransomed from death I will live to my Savior's praise
And sing of his goodness and mercy through endless days
Tagen and Eric...I am so sorry! I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is right now! I can't think of anything worse in this life than to lose a sweet precious baby. I am so grateful that the gospel is such a part of your life, that you have the shining brightness of hope in a time of such overwhelming agony. Thank you for your example, for YOUR words of comfort, and for your testimonies. We love you. You are in our prayers and I also know that you will definitely be with him again and be able to raise him! Please let us know if there is anything you need...EVER. Thank you for sharing Paul's life with all of us. It certainly has changed MY life.
ReplyDeleteYour family has been in our thoughts often these past days. You will get through this. Paul will ALWAYS hold a very special place in your heart.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew was born 8 years ago in Utah with heart complications and was also life-flighted to Primary Children's. He passed away after 2 weeks of heart surgeries. When I first read of Paul's complications, I felt like I was reliving the experience. The comfort I can give at this time is that it will get better, and you are so strong. Paul needed a body - you provided it and he accomplished his goal, and you will have the blessing of raising him in due time. Now he will be an example to you. He's perfect and you two are so lucky to have him in your eternal family. I know how strong and faithful you both are, and that will sustain you. We love you and feel this right alongside you.
Brittany and Brandon
Eric and Tagen,
ReplyDeleteBaby Paul was an angel sent to our family. How special we are to receive such a gift from above. Some angels are sent here for 100 years and some for only days. Even though his time was short among us he touched many, many lives. Each person whose life he touched will gain something special.
It is a pleasure to have had his spirit touch my family's life in many ways. Our thoughts are with you in your time of sorrow.
We LOVE you,
Heather, Anthony and Madison Page
Eric and Tagen, we are so sorry. You have been in our thoughts and prayers this week. I am so glad you were able to hold him. You both are amazing people. You are a great example to me. My cousin lost his baby last fall and someone worte this for him. I hope you can find some comfort in it. Love ya! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
ReplyDeleteBright blue eyes, soft baby skin.
Mom and Dad, don’t cry…I’ll see you again.
Please don’t cry now, and I hope you’ll always know.
Though my time with you was short, it was my time to go.
Mom and Dad I love you and my spirit is alive.
And as your journey here continues, I’ll be with you by your side.
Please believe in angels and know that I am yours.
I have a mission that is greater than what was planned out on this course.
Mom and Dad I love you and please know that I’m here.
On those quiet summer days when the air is crisp and clear.
Listen for me, hear me, and you’ll feel my spirit by your side.
And always remember that I’m very much alive.
Tagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteI'm am so so sorry to hear about baby Paul. I can not imagine the emotions you are having right now. And I feel horrible that you have to experience them. You are both such strong people and can make it through. Just remember to have this experience make you better not worse. I know that this sweet child will be awaiting you in the celestial kingdom. Stay close to the Lord and you will be blessed with the peace you need at this time. God bless you and especially sweet, handsome baby Paul.
Erin Leaver Adams
Erin Leaver Adams
Tagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteThe last few days my heart has ached for you, but I couldn't find the words to say. What could posibly be said. But apon reflection I have recalled a story from my own experiance that I can only hope will bring some comfort.
When I was abou 12 yrs old my grandmother became ill and passed. I was very upset, and as I was sitting with her one afternoon she told me I didn't need to fear for her because she had two angels to walk with her to heaven. She told me that the night before the angels had visited to comfort her, they were her children who had passed in childhood. Paul will always be with you, and he will be there whe you need him most. I'm very sorry for your loss. I pray for strength for your family.
With love,
Megan
Vera just called me and told me the news of Paul the fighter. I am so sorry that I was not here to show my support sooner.
ReplyDeleteI always wonder how it is that parents get through losing a child and after reading your story and feelings, I know...It is because the Lord blesses you to have that strength. You both are so right about how many lives this little boy touched. It really makes you stop!...and think!...and really understand the meaning of life.
I love you guys, I think it takes very special people to deserve very special children and Heavenly Father knows that.
I will now stop my tears and go hug my children.
My prayers are with you.
Hugs, and kisses
Love your cousin,
Rena
Tagen,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I have no idea what to say other than you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers so much latley. You have kept such a positive attitude through all of this. You two are amazing. True examples of love, strength, and faith. Thank you for sharing your son with us.
~Lindsay (Parrish) Aland
I used to work with Eric and your mom in SLC. I heard about your story from Megan and just want you two to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine what grief you must be going through. What an amazing and selfless gift you have given other families of sick children. So many wonderful miracles are going to come from your precious baby Paul. Thanks for sharing your story and son with us!!
ReplyDelete`Melissa Willis
I am a neighbor of Sinika and Lindsey and I just wanted you to know although we do not even know each other....my thoughts and prayers have been with you. I ache for you and I admire your strength in seeing the blessings that have come from such a trial. Your faith is an example to all and I wish you healing and peace to come. I am not sure what your situation will be with all the medical bills and insurance and what not and how much of a break the hospital will allow you but I did notice that you have an account setup for donations...do you mind if I post your link on my blog so that it could reach more people who may be able to contribute?
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Brianna Coles
Tagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing this story with us, I will always remember it and will remind me of the importance of eternal families. I know that you'll be able to get the chance to raise Paul in heaven. You are still in our prayers.
Love,
Tenille, Cory, and Miley
Thanks Brianna, that is very thoughtful of you.
ReplyDeleteTagen and Eric,
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to me! You're in our thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain of not being able to kiss your baby better. I'm so thankful for the Plan of Salvation. Your family will be in my prayers.
ReplyDelete